Sikh funeral: what to expect, what to wear, what to say

A Sikh funeral is a calm service built around prayer and a cremation, and you do not need to be Sikh to attend. Wear plain clothes, take your shoes off at the door, cover your head if you go inside the gurdwara, and a short, simple word of sympathy to the family is enough.

The shape of the rite is set out in the Sikh Reht Maryada, the Sikh code of conduct maintained by the Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee in Amritsar. Funerals are Article XIX. Families vary in the small details, so if something here does not match what you see, follow the family.

What happens at a Sikh funeral

The body is bathed and dressed in clean clothes. The articles of faith stay on the body: the code says the comb, the kachha, the kara and the kirpan should not be taken off. The body is then placed on a plank, and Ardas is offered before it is carried away. Ardas is the formal Sikh prayer, made standing with folded hands.

On the way to the cremation ground, hymns that turn the mind towards detachment are recited. At the ground the pyre is laid, and Ardas is offered again before the body is consigned to fire. A son, another relative, or a friend of the person who died lights the pyre. Everyone else sits at a reasonable distance and listens to kirtan or joins in the singing. When the pyre is fully alight, Kirtan Sohila is recited and Ardas offered. The congregation then leaves.

Cremation is the norm. The code says that however young the person was, the body should be cremated, and that where cremation cannot be arranged there should be no qualm about the body being immersed in flowing water or disposed of in another way. The hour does not matter: the code says no consideration of day or night should weigh on the timing.

Afterwards a reading of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji begins, either at the family home or at a nearby gurdwara.

What to wear to a Sikh funeral

The code sets no funeral colour and no mourning dress for guests. It does set two things that matter once you are inside a gurdwara. Shoes come off at the door, and you clean yourself up before going in. And everyone covers their head. The code's own wording is that no Sikh sits bare-headed in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji or in the congregation, and gurdwaras apply it to every visitor. Bring a plain scarf or a large handkerchief and cover your head before you walk in.

Everyone sits together on the floor. Taking a chair, a stool, a cushion or any distinctive seat in the presence of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji or within the congregation is contrary to the Guru's way. Plain, quiet clothing you can sit on the floor in is the practical choice.

What to say, and what not to bring

There is no set phrase you have to produce. Short, plain words to the family are enough, and so is simply being there.

The code asks the family not to wail or beat their breasts, and suggests reciting Gurbani or quietly repeating Waheguru instead, as a way of settling into acceptance of God's will.

Do not bring alcohol or tobacco. The code is direct about it: a Sikh must not take cannabis, opium, liquor or tobacco, and anyone entering a gurdwara should not have tobacco or other intoxicants on them. Treat the family home the same way.

The code also rules out several older mourning customs: breaking the pot half way to the cremation ground, organised lamentation, sitting on a straw mat for a fixed mourning period, keeping an oil lamp lit for the deceased, and shradh-style offerings and ritual meals.

Flowers, food and gifts

The code sets no rule about funeral flowers or condolence gifts, and families differ. Inside a gurdwara it does address flowers: they may be used, along with incense and scent, to perfume the place, while offerings of food placed before Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji are ruled out. If you want to get it right, ask someone close to the family or ring the gurdwara.

What the code does rule out is a permanent memorial. Raising a monument at the place where the body was cremated is not done. The ashes and remains are gathered up whole and either immersed in flowing water or buried at that very spot with the ground levelled. Separating remains from the ashes to carry to a named sacred site is also contrary to the code. There is no graveside to visit.

If a meal is served at the gurdwara, it is langar (ਲੰਗਰ), cooked and served by volunteers as sewa, and everyone sits on the same floor and eats the same food. Join in.

How long it takes, and the ten days after

The part most guests attend is a single gathering: prayers, the cremation, Ardas, and then people leave.

For the family it runs longer. The reading of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji that starts on the day of the cremation should be completed on the tenth day. If the tenth day does not work, another day is fixed to suit the relatives. The reading is carried out by the household and the relatives together, and kirtan may be held each night if it can be arranged. At the close, six stanzas of Anand Sahib are recited, Ardas is offered, and karah prashad is shared. After that day, the code says, no funeral ceremony remains to be performed.

If you are the family and this is your first time arranging one, the Reht Maryada covers the rite and not the paperwork. Speak to your gurdwara early about who will lead the prayers and where the reading will be held.

Common questions

Can I attend if I am not Sikh? Yes. The code says no person, whatever their country, religion or caste, is barred from entering a gurdwara, and that inside the congregation there should be no differentiation between Sikh and non-Sikh. The one thing the code adds is that you do not carry tobacco or other intoxicants in with you.

Is the body buried or cremated? Cremated. The code says the body should be cremated however young the person was. Where cremation cannot be arranged, it accepts immersion in flowing water or another means of disposal.

What do I actually do when I walk in? Take your shoes off, cover your head, and sit on the floor with everyone else rather than taking a chair. Keep your voice low. You are not expected to know the prayers.

What happens to the ashes? They are gathered up whole and either immersed in flowing water or buried at the cremation site with the ground levelled. No monument is raised there.

This page is general guidance from the World Sikh Council. Where a family's practice differs, follow the family. The full code is on the Shiromani Gurdwara Parbandhak Committee site.